Anger is a positive emotion and comes when our safety is threatened and the physiological effects allows us to make a flight or fright response. However underneath the anger can lie unresolved issues relating to pain and fear. If these are not allowed to be expressed difficulties can arise, and individuals can become addicted to the explosive releases of anger and rage. Storing up bad feelings makes you tense, irritable and uneasy and you can develop physical pain from the tension and develop stress-related illness. Often you are angry with those you feel safest, i.e. your family, so your relationships are affected by it also.
Feelings are like vegetables, best when fresh. We all know what happens when we leave vegetables too long without using them, they get old, smelly and are bad for us. It’s the same with feelings.
Learning to express anger in healthy, safe ways provides the strength needed to break through the walls of fear and unresolved pain. Anger when expressed in appropriate ways is nothing more than focused and directed emotional energy.
This expression of anger in a healthy way encourages you to have personal boundaries.
How can counselling help?
A counsellor can help you to identify your particular cycle of anger and your triggers, and help you understand why events, people or places have such an impact on you. They allow you to explore and understand unresolved pain and fear, and allow you to deal with anger in a more positive and constructive way.